How to find the sweet spot between control and flexibility.
Do you tend to overcontrol, find the sweet spot, or take a laissez-faire approach?
When you find yourself in the sweet spot, I predict you will often walk away pleased and satisfied with your presentation.
However, when you are inclined to overcontrol, by going into overdrive, trying to get everything just prefect, chances are you will be less pleased. The perfectionist.
Also, when you are on the other end of the spectrum, when you take a more laissez-faire approach and don’t have a clear picture of what you presentation goals are, you can end up just as dissatisfied. The Winger
Although the extremes, overdrive versus laissez-faire on the spectrum approach their preparation in a completely different manner, they eventually end up in the same place.
Namely, walking away from the presentation, not feeling satisfied or happy with the presentation they have given. They know they could have done better. They feel the presentation did not have the impact they wanted it to have.
The psychology behind the spectrum
We have to realize that when we feel the stakes are high, we start to find ways to cope with the exciting situation. Maybe we have to explain to our manager what we have done last quarter, and we want to make a good impression. Or we feel we have to be really convincing when we present to a potential client. All situations when we really want to do well.
What we seek then is safety. We want to feel safe in this exciting situation. We want to get a grip on it.
And this is where the psychology becomes interesting.
The Perfectionist and the Winger are not simply preparing differently. They are trying to create safety in different ways.
The Perfectionist seeks safety in more control.
“If I know everything, I can’t be caught off guard.”
The Winger seeks safety by minimizing the importance of the situation.
“It’s not that big a deal. I know my stuff. I’ll be fine.”
Different strategies, but underneath, they are trying to achieve something quite similar:
“I want to feel safe in this exciting situation.”
The Perfectionist
The Perfectionist dives into the content when they start to prepare. They want to be complete, not forget a single thing. So, they primarily focus on content and control.
In the process of amassing all the information, they can get entangled in the content and lose grip and overview. When presenting they try to push a big elephant in a tiny box. Too much information in too little time. It is no fun to present like this and the overcontrol often paradoxically lead to less control. On top of this the audience completely tunes out, because they cannot process so much information.
A lot of work, and no impact.
The Winger
The Winger can be overconfident as a protection mechanism or minimize the importance.
They for instance think, I have been working on this project for weeks. How hard can it be to explain something about it? So, they hardly prepare. Or they say, “If I’m going to prepare, it won’t be spontaneous anymore.” And they have a point. They don’t want to end up in the other extreme.
Yet, when they present, it can be hard to make the point. They just start and see along the way where they will end up. Because they don’t know where they are going, or what the precise goal and message is, they tend to talk a lot but not say a lot.
They are flexible, but they lack direction.
Different roads. Same destination.
The Perfectionist protects themselves by controlling everything.
The Winger protects themselves by telling themselves they don’t need to control anything.
They take completely different roads.
But they arrive here:
“That didn’t go as well as it could have.”
Where do you find yourself?
Are you a Perfectionist, or do you tend to be a Winger?
Do you find yourself on the left or right side of the sweet spot?
Whether you are a Winger or a Perfectionist, you are both right in a sense 😉
We need both control and flexibility to present with impact.
However, not overcontrol and not laissez-faire.
The sweet spot is in the middle.
And here’s the thing: to reach that sweet spot we need to approach it both practical and psychological (mindset).
The Perfectionist needs to learn how to prepare in the right manner (practical). The better they learn this, the easier it becomes to let go of control (mindset). The more impact they will have, when they present.
The Winger needs to really engage with the challenge, rather than brush it aside (mindset). And when they learn to prepare properly (practical), they discover that they can still be spontaneous, while actually achieving their goals and in balancing this, become super effective as presenters.
The psychological and practical work go hand in hand.
Do you want to learn how to break the mold and move to the middle, using psychological and practical tools?
Then join me for my open training on Friday, 25 September.
We’ll explore how to prepare in a way that gives you a firm foundation, so you can present with more flexibility, confidence and impact.
No more overcontrol. No more laissez-faire. Just a better way to prepare and present.
So you can make the impact you want to make, feel satisfied with your presentation, and walk away with a smile. 3 spaces left.
Learn more here.
