In my last newsletter, I wrote about our tendency to overcontrol when we present.
This often shows up as memorizing our presentation word for word or cramming far too much information into our presentation and our slides.
And this is completely normal. We all do it. When something really matters to us, our instinct is often to seek more control, not less. I am no exception.
Ironically, however, this need for control is exactly what makes us less powerful speakers.
The remedy is actually quite simple: prepare the right way and practise your presentation out loud. Know the structure of your presentation and express it in your own words instead of memorizing sentences. It’s a simple but powerful technique.
Still, many experts get pulled back into overcontrolling because the temptation of certainty is hard to resist. Deep down, we often believe that more control will make us stronger.
As a result experts:
- Get stuck in their head instead of connecting with their audience.
- Have a voice that becomes more monotonous and their body more static.
- Hesitate more (“eh…”) because they are searching for the exact next word.
Sadly, this drains the energy and life from the presentation. As a presenter you are working incredibly hard, yet the audience feels less connected.
That is why we often have to do the mental work first before real change becomes possible.
Step 1. Discover the belief behind your need for control
Ask yourself:
- Do I overload my presentation because I’m afraid I won’t be taken seriously?
- Do I water down my message because I’m worried about what others will think?
- Do I memorize large parts because I’m afraid I’ll forget something important?
Perhaps your underlying belief is:
“My presentation has to be perfect if I want to be seen as a professional.”
This belief automatically pushes you into overcontrol.
And it keeps you trapped in a very small thinking box. If you believe that perfect control equals a good presentation, that’s all you can see. Your mind keeps saying:
“I need to add this.”
“I need to explain that.”
“I shouldn’t leave anything out.”
The result? More information. More control. Less impact.
Step 2. Reverse the belief
Once you’ve identified the belief, challenge it by creating a new one.
For example:
Instead of:
“My presentation has to be perfect.”
Try:
“It’s not about perfection. It’s about connection.”
This simple shift opens up an entirely new way of thinking.
Instead of asking:
“How can I include everything?”
You start asking:
- How can I best serve my audience?
- What do they really need to understand my message?
- Which information can I leave out?
- Would I actually connect better if my slides were simpler?
You’re no longer trapped in the old belief.
Step 3. Experiment with small, safe changes
Now become curious.
Take small steps that feel safe.
Perhaps you’ll simplify your slides.
Perhaps you’ll move detailed information to a handout.
Perhaps you’ll stop memorizing every sentence and trust your structure instead.
Don’t try to change everything overnight.
Take deliberate but manageable steps. Rome wasn’t built in a day—and learning to present differently doesn’t happen in one day either.
Step 4. Reflect
After your presentation, ask yourself:
- What felt different?
- Did I have more room to breathe?
- Did I connect better with my audience?
- Was my message actually clearer?
Small experiments lead to valuable insights. When satisfied, continue on your new chosen track.
This process is what exactly happened with one of my coaches.
She discovered that she overloaded every presentation because she believed she had to prove she was knowledgeable enough in her subject to be taken seriously.
Once she recognized that belief, she was finally free to experiment and think outside her small thinking box.
Before the presentation, she even told me she was worried she had left out too much information. Afterward, however, several people told her the presentation was very clear, engaging and so easy to follow. A few people even said she could probably have left out even more!
That’s the interesting part. What feels like “not enough” to us often feels like exactly the right amount—or even more than enough—to our audience.
The difference was remarkable. Her presentations became much clearer. But even more importantly, you could see the difference in her. She looked more relaxed, embodied her message and genuinely enjoyed presenting.
And this is something every presenter can do.
Instead of working so hard to stay in control:
- Find the belief that keeps you boxed in.
- Reverse it.
- Start experimenting.
- Enjoy the fruits.
Curious which belief is keeping you stuck?
Download the free worksheet and discover the belief behind your need for control. Then use the four guided steps to help you create more freedom, confidence and connection in your presentations.
Download your free worksheet here.
DOWNLOAD FREE WORKSHEET
Ready to Present with More Ease and Impact?
Reading about these steps is a great start. But lasting change happens when you practise them.
In the one-day Presenting with Impact training, you’ll learn how to let go of overcontrol, structure your message without memorising it, and speak with more confidence and authenticity. You’ll receive personal coaching, practise extensively, and leave with practical tools you can immediately apply in your work.
The training is designed for Expats and Dutch professionals working in international organisations and takes place in Amsterdam/Haarlem in a small group of only 3–4 participants, allowing plenty of individual attention.
📅 Next Open Training: Friday 25 September
📍 Amsterdam/Haarlem
If you’d like presenting to feel more natural, enjoyable and impactful, I’d love to welcome you. Reserve your place by sending a mail to info@presentingwithimpact.nl