Last blog I wrote about “overgrip” or control that keep (expert) presenters from experiencing freedom and growth as public speakers.
The deeper belief that they have, keeps them captive.
- “I have to say it perfectly.”
- “I cannot mess this up.”
- “I should not pause.”
- “If I let go, I’ll lose my train of thought.”
- “I need to sound impressive.”
Instead of knowing the structure and filling it in their own words. Which makes them powerful and effortless as speakers.
They overcontrol which you can be witnessed by:
- Quite some ehh’s, cause a lot of energy goes to finding the exact next word.
- The presenter is a bit static and has a monotonous voice.
- The presenter is locked in her/his head. Looks up, or down on the ground or at slides predominantly, not connected to the audience.
This can easily be avoided by preparing in the proper way and practicing out loud before your presentation. A simple and practical tool.
Still, a lot of experts get pulled back in the process, because the seduction of control is too hard to resist. Since there is a deep belief that more control will make them stronger.
So, instead of applying the practical tool by combing structure (grip) with flexibility (own wording), they for instance learn the presentation by heart (long sentences they have written before) or they put too much information in their presentation and on their slides.
And this is completely normal. We all do it. When something matters to us, our instinct is often to seek more control, not less. I am no exception.
But, ironically, this “overgrip” and control, is exactly what makes us less powerful as speakers.
So, what can help us then? When the practical tools are there, but we do not use them or not properly since one way or another we are pulled back?
This is where mental work come in.
We need to uncover the beliefs and mental stories that keep us safe, yet hold us back at the same time. Many of them operate beneath the surface. Once we become aware of them, they begin to lose their grip on us.
So, my question to you is: what beliefs and stories do you tell yourself and prevent yourself from really growing as a presenter?
- Do you overload your presentation with information because you are afraid you won’t be taken seriously otherwise?
- Do you water down your message because you are worried about what other people might think?
- Do you memorize large parts of your presentation because you are afraid you will forget something important?
- Do you avoid speaking opportunities because you believe you have nothing valuable to contribute?
- Do you hold back your ideas because you think presenting is for extroverts, not for someone like you?
If you recognize yourself in one or more of these questions, you’re not alone. Most of us carry beliefs and assumptions that shape the way we present, often without even realizing it.
The good news is that awareness changes the game. Once we begin to see these patterns more clearly, they start to lose some of their influence over us.
And the goal is not to get rid of control completely. The goal is to loosen its grip enough so that your expertise, personality, and message can come through more naturally.
If you recognized yourself in several of these questions, you have already taken the first step.
In my next blog, I’ll share more steps to help loosen the grip of control even more and create more freedom, ease, and impact in your presentations.
